Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Men's Divorce and Child Custody - How to Win Your Child Custody Battle


I know that your children are the most important thing to you. I know that given the choice, you would sacrifice all your possessions, your home and all your money just to keep them in your life, but that doesn't mean say that you need to sacrifice everything to achieve that.

Winning child custody is a difficult task; there is no doubt about that. You only have to ask a handful of men who have fought for child custody in their Divorce to understand just how difficult it really is, but at the same time I would like to stress right now that it isn't an impossible one. Ultimately it all depends on how strong a case you can build and how well you can put your case across to the Divorce Court to help them fully understand that you are the natural and best choice when it comes to granting child custody. It is your responsibility as their father to alleviate any concerns that the Divorce Courts have in relation to you gaining full or part custody of your children.

In order to build a strong case you have to put yourself into the shoes of the Divorce Courts and ask yourself what would help them gain confidence in me as a individual and parent to provide for both the physical and emotional needs of my children.

The harsh reality is that if you want to win your child custody then you will have to surpass the Divorce Courts expectations, you need to show yourself as close to the ideal farther image as possible. The closer you are to that idyllic image of the perfect father the closer you will be to winning child custody; it is as simple as that.

Unfortunately for men it seems that the Divorce Courts haven't made it easy for us to protect ourselves. The Divorce Courts naturally favour mothers over fathers when it comes to child custody and it is your responsibility to overcome that old notion that women can provide better quality parenting that fathers can. Fathers are traditionally seen as the breadwinners and the mothers as the caring endearing parent that provides for the emotional needs of a child. When it comes to children in Divorce, fathers are expected to provide financially for their children even when they don't have direct access or contact with them, so as far as the court is concerned the bread-winning part will remain constant, regardless of whether to have contact with your children or not, you will still have to pay alimony which covers the living costs of your children.

Baring this in mind it is very important to demonstrate to the courts that you can; not only provide for the financial needs of your children but you also have the time to take care of their emotional needs as well. When you can confidently demonstrate both those things to the court then you have eliminated the majority of the arguments and obstacles that were against you.

The following are just a few of the things you may want and need to take into consideration when you start building your child custody case.

1] Do you have time to pick your children up from school? If not then who will on a regular basis?

2] Will you be home when your children arrive home from school?

3] Can you cook? If you can't cook then how will you feed your children, and remember that takeaways and ready-made frozen foods are not considered a healthy way to live and eat.

4] If you get home late from work, will you have time to cook your children dinner in the evening?

5] If are not at home when they finish school, who will let them into the house and who will look after them until you arrive?

6] If you have to work during the weekends, who will look after your children when you are away at work?

7] Do you have family members that can babysit when you are at work? If not, then can you afford to pay someone to babysit for you on a regular basis?

8] Do you have time to tuck your younger children into bed and read them a bed time story?

9] Do you have time to spend with your children and do simple things like help them with their homework?

10] Do you have time to wake up early help get your children ready for school and also make them breakfast before they go to school?

11] Do you have time to make your children lunch for them to take with them to school?

12] Do you have time to take your children to school?

13] Do you have time to spend with your children on the weekends when they are off from school?

14] Do you have time to take them out on leisure activities, even simple things like shopping and visiting family and friends, visiting a museum or watching a film at the cinema?

The above are just a few questions that you can ask yourself when it comes to child custody. The above are things that the courts may take into consideration when making their final decision.

It's all about your child's welfare at the end of the day. The courts main concern will be which parent can provide best for the child. You can see from the above questions that having the time to balance both your work life and home life so that you have time to spend with your children is a fundamental part of winning child custody. Let me make this absolutely clear to you, if you cannot demonstrate beyond a reasonable doubt that you can spend time with your children then you will not win your child custody battle, it's as simple as that!!

If you have noticed that you did not answer positively to some of the above questions then this is an aspect of your life that you may want to change as it may weaken your custody case. Remember that it's not too late, start straight away and eliminate any factors that will weaken your child custody case. The fact that you haven't done the things above in the past doesn't matter, remember that you and your wife are a team, up until now you have shared all the responsibilities and some of the questions above responsibilities may have fallen to your wife. The important thing to take into consideration now is whether you can do the both jobs by yourself?

When you can confidently demonstrate that you can, that's when you know you can win your child custody battle.

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